Shop-borne Illness and Disease Index, Vol 4, Chapter 18: Curse, Capt Blackthumb

The curse of Captain Blackthumb (aka, "the Blackthumb", or sometimes, "butt thumb") is a common affliction that occurs whenever nitrile gloves are used to cover digits that are frantically working to accomplish a task, whether to meet a looming deadline, powerful enthusiasm, or both.

The initial stage (wherein the curse has the opportunity to take root, though infection is not guaranteed) is just after thumb shield breakage has occurred, but long before anything resembling a break from the task at hand will end up taking place (for a related malady that occurs in the index finger, see appendix A: "tar poker").  Plate 1 illustrates a hand that is susceptible to Captain Blackthumb's hex.

The most effective treatment method discovered to date is preventative, and also the one least-likely to occur by those who contract the ailment- actually stopping for a second to change your damn gloves.  In all other cases, amputation has proven to be a viable alternative.